Sunday, 19 July 2015

Geektopia - A Place to Call Home

Every good Geek needs a place to store his or her stuff. We do have a lot of stuff and we keep adding stuff to the stuff we already have....and stuff. There is always some cool new licenced merchandise that is vying for position on your bookcase to help block what little access you have left to your books.

Generally a person who is passionate about popular culture often is compelled to collect all manner of items related to there favourite show, movie or brand of motor oil. No end of pointless tat.....errr..I mean collectibles, can be purchased from specialist stores and web sites around the world. Who can resist a life size replica of Thor's codpiece? Who would not want their walls adorned with a a vacuum formed, plastic night light representing Apollo Creed's left boxing glove. Why wouldn't anyone need their very own Game of Thrones toilet seat (glow in the dark variant available in selected stores).

Due to this need to horde vast amounts of memorabilia, whole floors of buildings with known high density of Geek population were collapsing under the weight of Mork and Mindy fridge magnets alone. This was when it was recognised, possibly by governmental mandate, that each geek needs a place to put all his or her precious materials.

There is, of course, another reason why we cannot have our nick naks strewn allllllll over the house. Thanks to evolution each of us has a built in survival mechanism. We  know for a fact that if one more Battlestar Galactica Cylon Money Box is placed anywhere near the living room we are in danger of a frying pan across the bonce from our respective other halves. The main reason for honing your collection into one centralised space is to make sure your relationship lasts more than a week and a half.

Look at Bruce Wayne for example. He had the ultimate hidey hole to keep all his bits of nonsense in. A high-tech haven of gadgets, gizmos and pointy things for climbing up walls with. He would have us believe he kept everything in there as an aid to help hide his secret identity and as a base from which to launch his attacks on the underworld of Gotham. The truth is Alfred made him put it all in that stinky place because he was fed up of treading on bits of Lego that Brucey left lying on the carpet.

Thus the Man-Cave was born! A wholly sexist term I agree but to my knowledge the Lady-Cave has yet to be thrust upon the world, probably because it sounds a bit rude. In fact there is so much wrong with that last sentence let us forget that it exists.

So, gather up all your doodads, thingumies and whatzits and take them to the little, unused room at the back of the house. Put them all on shelves, probably in alphabetical order, and hook up a flat screen and a blu ray player. There you have it, a veritable Geektopia has arisen. A paradise of comics, autographs and possibly miniature choo choo trains if that, as they say, is your bag. A restful serene place to go and castaway all life's problems, to forget about the sticks and stones hurled by the daily grind. A place where truly a Nerd can be king.

Hail to the king baby!

                                                     The late, great George Carlin. Enjoy!